What to do, what to do?

I visited a friend's house the other day after coming back from Bossier. He'd been asking me to hang out for a while and I just hadn't had the time so I finally went over and watched a movie with him. It had been a long, bad day - as most of my days are here lately - and I kept fading in and out of consciousness on his couch and he cuddled me for a bit.
It was the best feeling I've had in a very long time and now I don't know what to do.
The whole situation has awakened in me the realization and absolute understanding that I cannot be in a relationship right now - despite the fact that that is the very thing for which I deeply, deeply pine. Ever since leaving his house almost a week ago, I have been daydreaming about going back and just letting him hold me. It was such a wonderful comfort, fleeting though it was, and I desperately crave such refuge from the unending chaos of my days.
What with two part-time jobs, the internship and my classes, I rarely have time to eat or sleep and have gone days at a time without showering. I am tired and coming apart at the seems and I need some glue to hold me together.
My friend was that glue for a few moments. He held me together for just a little while and I crave more of that comfort, that solace. I crave it unhealthily and from sources that should not be.
We are just a couple of friends, at the moment, hanging out watching movies, but after last week, already I just want to take all my problems to him and have him hold me til they go away - simply because I know he would. Already, I am inclined to go to him with all my troubles and hope he can make me feel better rather than taking my problems to God and knowing that he would fix them.
I can only imagine how much worse this inclination of mine would be if I were actually in a committed relationship. Already, I rely too much on man to get me through my hardships. I put too much stock in his abilities and, in so doing, turn my back on God.
All this is bad enough even before considering my friend's position.
I know that I can't be in a relationship - will absolutely not enter into one until I learn to lean more on God. That being said and understood, I still possess an unceasing urge to visit him and have him comfort me too. But what message does that send to him?
"I am a tease."
"I want you to come hold me whenever I need you, but I don't want to date you."
"I don't want to commit to you, but I want you to commit to me."
"Let's just be friends with benefits."
No one deserves that, least of all, a friend who's only been there for me. Least of all, me.
So what am I to do?
I am trying to learn to find comfort and hope in God's word and in his promises, but does that mean I am to utterly forgo my desire for human companionship?

Fool

When my plans fell through I decided I would try to accept it was for the best. When my plans fell through, I decided there must be a reason. When my plans fell through, I figured maybe there would be some horrible storm that weekend that would ravage that beach and I and my friends were now safe from that. When my plans fell through I was bitter and angry and swore that I would remain so unless something drastically bad happened that somehow showed me a benefit to my plans falling through.

My plans were made for this weekend.
My uncle died today.

Leviticus Study: Part IV

All this hoo-ha - the sacrifices, the offerings - all of it is for the Glory of God - to remember his holiness and to be and remain holy so he can dwell among us. For we are the priesthood now. We are in the place of the priests of old. He wants to appear to us as he appeared to them. We are to follow his commandments, walk his path, love him, so that we maintain a holy he can live in. So that he can appear to us in all aspects of life, bless us in all aspects.
He will astound us with his presence.

Obedience or death. It was as simple as that back then. It is much the same now, but more abstract, less immediate. Aaron's sons disobeyed and offered strange fire to God with additives he specifically told them not to include. What happens? Insta-death. Consumed by the very fire they had no business fooling with. Nowadays, we disobey in the same ways but think we've gotten away with it because the death that comes, comes slower.

The Israelites almost had it easier. Their God was a frightening God. We see him now, though as the Buddy Christ - the best friend we can pay attention to - or not - as we please. Back then, he was something to be feared and he showed himself as such. I say that, but he could be doing so still. We don't see things as the Israelites did. We say that they saw all the miracles, they saw all the consequences, all the wrath. But we see it too. We don't recognize the miracles and the consequences because we are jaded. We think we know all, have seen all, and that all can be explained. We won't allow anything to be miraculous.