Reflect

We are so blessed.
Life leading up to this long weekend has been such a trial. Finding out Jedidiah didn't get into school; funneling ever more money into the repairs of what was meant to be a free car; the frustration of having a second vehicle, but being unable to make use of it; unexpected crises at work; the headlights and heat going out in our one driveable car just in time for shorter days and a frigid cold snap. All of these things were going on at once , but what made it the worst was how lost I felt through it all.

I was letting it all get to me - drowning, really - and spending so much time worrying and trying to fix/deal with it all that I left no time for quiet reflection (read: plea for divine assistance). This weekend - the break from everything that I've been striving toward for weeks - has gone a long way toward helping me recalibrate.

It began with a surprisingly brief and painless trip to the DMV, where we got the final paperwork done to put the Mercedes in our name. Then our departure was delayed by Jedidiah being called for an interview - which went very well, I'm told. We put coolant in the car that morning, hoping it would make the heater work before we drove 3+ hours in 40* weather - and it worked!

In my utter surprise and deep gratitude of that answered prayer, I realized how far my faith had shrunk. And in that moment, I prayed that this weekend would not just be a refreshing break from everyday life, but a perspective shift - an impetus for realigning priorities.

Today I opened my Bible for the first time in weeks, excepting when in church, and was filled to bursting with new awe and appreciativeness of God's love for me - something I've been too busy to feel or realize lately.

I can look back over the last weeks and the litany of 'bad' that's happened and be discouraged - which has been my M.O. lately - or I can realize and be thankful that, though I don't have the answers to why certain things are happening, and though I don't know what the plan is, God's care for me has not stopped or diminished. He knows where He is leading us; He's got the road map. I just need to remember to follow. This weekend has been a success if for nothing else than that reminder.