The thing is, you caught me at a bad time. I was young and ridiculously naive. You may as well have been dating an adolescent. You were dating the mindset of a 13-year-old.
I'd had it fixed in my mind for so long that you were my one. I'd made this perfect little world where we eventually lived Happy Ever After and I nourished the thought for a long time.
It was fixed so firmly in my mind that I didn't care what we did because you were my first and last everything. It didn't matter how far we went because it just didn't matter - we had forever.
But it did matter because I knew we didn't have forever. I knew we wouldn't last. Somewhere in there, I knew you weren't my one and the times when I got upset with myself and with us were the times that that realization escaped my carefully constructed bubble of obliviousness and tried to choke me with its dream-shattering truth. I preferred to ignore the dirty knowledge that lurked beneath my pristine fantasies and continue with my happy-go-lucky ideals; and toward the end, I was - sadly - able to accomplish that with more ease.
I was stupid.
I was idealistic.
I was stubborn and I was viciously and embarrassingly and unforgivably naive. Except you did forgive me - you told me as much.
I am sorry that I subjected you to me. You know I'm sorry and I won't apologize anymore because it's over. It's not just over between me and you, it's over between me and my fantastical delusions.
At long last, love, we can call this finished.
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